The process is this: I think I've made progress. I pat myself on the back and drink some celebratory tea. I dare the world to bring on the next challenge. I believe myself stronger.
And then it gets very firmly re-established that my progress, if any, has been illusory at best. If blame needs to be apportioned and noone else is willing to take it upon their shoulders, I step up and lift (with my back, because I can't even do this right). If someone speaks loudly to me, my hands shake and my brain scatters to the four corners of the room. If personal defense is necessary, I step to the side and all their words through my defenses.
Damnitall. When will I learn?
Sincerely,
Me.
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