In Which I May Divulge Too Much Information

Dear Body:

You bled all last week.  It was annoying, but it is what it is and I acknowledge that you still believe you are performing a valuable function. 

So. 
Last week.
Bleeding. 
Check.

This week, however, you not only continued to bleed, but you've added in cramps and clotting.  Are you bored?  Do you not believe that I know you are there?  Is any attention good attention?  Or are you just very confused?  Did you forget about the cramping and clotting at the beginning/middle and are racing to add it in?  Or are you starting over again with no break between?

Also, for the last two days, the amount of blood/clotty bits coming out of me is starting to become concerning.  So if you could address that leak sooner rather than later, I would appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Me.